I thought it would be easy and all a joy, but that was not the case.

Imagine you sitting with your bundle of joy in your arms, probably something you’ve imagined and already thought about a million times. It will hit you without a warning that, “wow, I’m a parent”.

I am not responsible for this little life and the overwhelming feeling of what to do can start to creep in. A baby does not come with a description even if we wish they did. I now look back on when I was sitting there with my baby and there is so many things I wish someone would have told me at that point. Therefor I will, and hopefully I could help someone.

1.     BREASTFEEDING IS HARD BUT IT CAN BE DONE.

I was so shocked after my daughter was born and I noticed that she did not want to latch on. I thought this was something that both her and I would know like instincts. But I was wrong. I had to fight for a good 3 days, remembering how worthless and useless I felt at the same time. I had one job that early on and it was to give her my milk, which I failed. Nobody then told me that this was actually pretty normal. With a lot of hormones going on at the same time, it quickly became a lot of tears, what I did learn was not to give in too quickly and also, ladies, please make sure you have a good nipple cream. They will get soar and hurt!

To summarize this, remember ladies, there is nothing wrong with you. This is a normal problem. Don’t be afraid to ask for professional help and do your research before blaming yourselves like I did. 

2.     MISSING A LOT OF SLEEP.

We all have probably heard this but I don’t think anyone can actually imagine or warn someone good enough before you’re finding yourself in this situation. I sure never understood how much I would miss sleeping. My number one priority and I can’t stress this enough, is to sleep when the baby is sleeping. Forget the laundry and the dishes; by all means give it to someone else to do if that’s a possibility. My second advice that helped me a lot was to food prep. We took one day a week and did a lot of cooking that we divided into lunch boxes and froze. Thanks to this I could easily throughout my week pop a lunch box in the microwave and get a proper meal within minutes. It stopped me from small eating as well as the efforts usually aren’t there to cook. I also invested in a smoothie blender (nutribullet) that again I could easily pop in my frozen vegetables and blend up, that way I also didn’t miss out on my greens.

The better we eat the better the baby eats which means they will sleep better so it all goes hand in hand.

3.     EVERYONE WILL TRY TO GIVE YOU ADVICE. DON’T TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY.

You will hear a lot of people around you, both loved ones and strangers try to sneak in their opinion on how to raise your child. Most of it can be extremely useful. My advice is to simply get rid of that little voice in your head telling people to stop getting in your business and simply reflect on what they are saying. Most are simply only trying to help with small tricks that maybe worked for them and could for you also. Don’t be skeptical.

4.     GET ALL THE SUPPORT YOU CAN GET.

This one is important. Remember that you can use the “I just got a baby” card for a while. I didn’t have a support system as I was living in another country than my family and it was hard. It is harder to ask friends for help with baby sitting etc. than it is family as you probably don’t want to bother them. Family is different to be trusted as well and most of them are doing it without even thinking twice.

Don’t forget date nights either with your partner. It is just as important as everyone is saying!

5.     MILESTONE, DON’T COMPARE, THERE IS NO COMPETITION

Milestones are meant to be indicators to your baby’s development. Celebrate your child’s milestone but please let them get there themselves. We are comparing way too much with others. Just because someone else’s baby is already crawling does not mean that yours is behind. Both my kids today were completely different from each other. My first did everything early while my second is not. Let them do it in their own time with reasonable pushing from your side. 

There you go! My 5 things I didn’t know before I had my first baby. Hopefully it was helpful to someone and even more hopefully you have already heard it all before. Remember to enjoy it and take in the wonderful moments you got a head of you. Time flies!!

Here are my kids, Esme 7 years and Godwin 3 years old, they are two completely different children. Esmé is a active and more on the wild side, my son Godwin is calmer, can eat and eat and sleep, he loves his sleep. It’s amazing to see them grow up.

Bringing baby home would be a complete shock

My Story

It’s of course a little different if you had a natural birth or a c-section. I got two children as you already know and my first one was a c-section so my experience coming home was so much more different. What I struggled with the most after the c-section was that my bed didn’t have a remote where you could move the back of the bed so you where sitting and after a c-section you can’t use your stomach muscles so I looked at my bed when I came home and cried. I was in tear and said to my partner I am going to have to sit and sleep?! Because I couldn’t get up if I where lying flat or at least not in a easy way. So we had to grab all the fluffy pillows we had to make me come up a little and my husband got woken up every time our little girl woke up to give me a push up or just to go and get her and give her to me.

I had an idea in my head that breastfeeding can’t be a problem the baby knows how to make it work by instinct, but no no no, I was so wrong it took me four days to get it working and so when we came home on the 3rd day and I noticed that oh I haven’t bought any formula, because I was so sure that breastfeeding would happen. It never crossed my mind that I might have to have some formula in case it doesn’t go that way. So please leave the hustle and have some at home. Because I had to tell my partner to go late night to find a open shop and buy formula, I can promise you that he wasn’t to happy but of course he did it.

It was a lot more different with my second one, my son, I had a natural birth and had no idea of the pain and the problems with going to the toilet after, I didn’t have any of the good products to help that problem out. I have made a survival kit for you please take a look below the photo.

To PREPARE a postpartum survival kit!!!

I ran out of everything fast (what the hospital provided at least) and had to try telling my husband (while he was going to every store in the area) what Happy Nunny Healing Pads  (because these were MUST HAVES). All that frustration while in pain and exhausted to my soul!

I advice you TO NOT skip out on a Postpartum Care Kit. It’s not that hard to put together either. I have put together an Amazon List  with items recommended by the hospital.

You will also run out of those guazy, ugly as heck but amazing disposable underwear the hospital gives you, or they may give you none if you are unlucky. Save yourself the trouble and buy your own postpartum maternity (post-surgical) disposable underwear just like the hospital has.

The hospital also gives you this cheapo little bottle to squirt warm water down there every single time you go to the bathroom called a peri bottle with a nozzle specifically designed to be held upside down, giving you much more control with each use.

Also, the hospital provided Happy Nunny Healing Pads to place directly on the maxi pad for relief. They are little round (3″) pads with witch hazel and I cannot tell you how much they relieved the burning and itching, so good and make it just a little better.

When you leave the hospital, chances are you will receive Pain Relieving Spray and you will be thankful so thankful.. The nurse told me, “Never forget to use this each and every time you go to the bathroom.” The problem is, that’s a lot of spraying so we had to go out and find two additional cans. Save yourself the hassle and have it ready beforehand! I can’t stress this enough. Another similar spray gaining momentum is Earth Mama Herbal Perineal Spray. It’s a more natural product and I’ve heard raving reviews.

But he most important thing is to Rest! I will say it again yes rest because it is SO important. Take care of yourself. It’s okay if the laundry doesn’t get done and the house is a mess, it’s fine you just had a baby. Let yourself watch Netflix. Make yourself take naps (even if naps aren’t your thing). This is your healing and recovery time. Make it count as much as you can and please ask for help.

I hope this was a little helpful.

Ah motherhood, the greatest and most WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK thing you’ll ever do.

Here’s 24 things no-one tells you about being a new baby mama.

1. You’ll have to change your baby’s clothes a lot because of rather aggressive nappy leaks, but that you’ll also have to change your baby’s clothes a lot because you’ve splattered spaghetti bolognese all over them and lol go you.

2. Even if you swear you’re not going to become one of those lame ass parents who speak in stupid baby voices, you absolutely will. You will also use ridiculous words like dum dum, bot bot and bum bum.

3. People, most notably those over the age of 65, will love to just peer inside your buggy. Half the time they won’t even say anything, they’ll just stick their head in and stare at your baby like they’re having a good nosey at the reduced shelf down Waitrose. Ummm can I help you, mate?

4. Your baby will mostly like sleeping in places you haven’t paid for it to sleep. Moses basket? Lol nah. Cot? Lol nah. Sleepyhead? Lol nah. On you whilst you’re trying to take a sneaky sofa nap? Abso-freaking-lutely.

5. You will always get to your cup of tea the very second it becomes undrinkable. I mean, you’ll drink it anyway because IT’S TEA, but y’know, you won’t actually enjoy it.

6. You’ll feel like one heck of a smug bitch when you roll into the last parent and baby space at the supermarket only to realise that for fuck’s sake, it’s approximately 2.7 miles away from the front of the shop. You’ve birthed a child and this is the kind of hero’s welcome you get?

7. Even if you’re not sure how much you even liked your midwife, you will mourn her the minute she signs you over to the health visitor. BUT WE’VE BEEN ON SUCH A LONG AND BEAUTIFUL JOURNEY TOGETHER, PLZ DON’T LEAVE ME, I CAN’T DO THIS WITHOUT YOU, I LOVE YOU, I MISS YOU, COME BACK.

8. Muslins will become your absolute lifeline. Baby dribbled milk down themselves? Grab a muslin. Baby thrown up in your hair? Grab a muslin. Baby doing a ginormous wee mid-nappy change? Grab a muslin. Parenthood making you do a big fat ugly cry at 2am? Grab a muslin.

9. Every time you hear someone who doesn’t have a small baby say that they’re tired, you’ll want to smush their face into the ground and tell them to pull on their big boy pants. Sleep deprivation makes you a calm, serene, wonderful person to be around.

10. The minute you feel like you’ve got your shit together and hang on I think I might be nailing this? You’ll suddenly be unable to put your pushchair down and oh god you’re really hot and the baby’s screaming and ow OK you’ve hurt your hand and is everyone staring at you and oh wow now you’re crying the end.

11. Around 72% of all your conversations with your baby daddy will be about nappy contents. I mean, you used to be mildly cool and discuss things like pizza orders and crime documentaries and now you’re just rating poos out of ten. Classy.

12. You will sometimes catch sight of yourself naked in the mirror and be like um sorry who dis? Everything has changed and yet you don’t have the time or mental energy to care about it for longer than about 2.4 seconds, which actually is kinda nice.

13. Even if you’ve got no clue how to hold a baby, change a baby or wind a baby, the minute you’re suddenly left in charge of your own, you’ll suddenly jump into action like you’ve been doing it your whole life and hey, look at you go!

14. Your phone battery won’t be completely rinsed from repeatedly scrolling through Instagram, no, your phone battery will be completely rinsed from reading Mumsnet threads about tips on getting your baby to sleep for more than three hours at a time.

15. And because of that, your Facebook feed will suddenly become flooded with adverts for the MyHummy and Baby Sleep Programs. You’ll spend half your waking day reading reviews because WHAT IF THEY ACTUALLY WORK?

16. You’ll also become an absolute buggy pervert. You’ll start shouting OOH LOOK THEY’VE GOT AN ICANDY PEACH IN BUTTERSCOTCH whilst driving past strangers on your way to the supermarket. Anyone would’ve thought you’d seen something mildly interesting.

17. Stretch marks can appear after you’ve had the baby. Including on your private parts. WHAT. WHO. WHY. WHEN.

18. You will become the queen of just winging it and hoping for the best. When childless friends ask things like ‘so how do you know if the bath water is the right temperature?’ you’ll just shrug and say ‘well, the baby didn’t scream so….?’

19. Your health visitor will give you enough leaflets for you to open your own GP surgery, which is cute for y’know, the trees and the environment. You’ll read the front page of one of them and then shove them all in a drawer never to see the light of day again.

20. You’ll notice that everyone in the world (but mostly other mums on the internet) have apparently got PHDs in baby studies. You’ll notice this because they’ll leave comments (on threads, on instagram, on YT videos) to kindly let other mums know that they are on the verge of killing their baby. Thanks hun, ‘preciate it.

21. Everyone will talk about this overwhelming love you’ll feel for your baby the moment he/she is placed in your arms. It’s SO normal if actually you’re like ok yeah I kinda like you, we’ll see. It can take days or even weeks before you’re like FUCKING HELL YOU’RE BRILLIANT YOU ARE.

22. Your camera roll will become 97% baby and you’ll have to physically restrain yourself from posting every single one to social media because lol, no-one will ever think your baby is as cute as you do (aside from maybe the grandparents if you’re lucky).

23. The only thing that will make night feeds even slightly enjoyable are snacks. And maybe Netflix. And yes OK maybe smelling your baby’s head for the 46726635th time, but mostly da snacks <3

24. Even when it feels hard and even when you’re crumbling on the inside, you’ll realise that actually you’re way stronger than you ever gave yourself credit for. High five, sista.

Position 1

When you are tired, worn out and not even heavily pregnant there may well be the tendency to slouch. Most people when standing flat footed are not very likely to look their best especially when pregnant. Shoulders drop, the bottom looks larger and you are likely to look at your worst! It is quite simple. Avoid standing flat footed!

Position 2

At its easiest and simplest starting point, by getting you to point you foot and move you leg towards the camera you will immediately change how you form looks. The outstretched leg makes it appear longer and slimmer. It will also pull your hips to one side creating a lovely shape in your body. Points to pay attention to would be to ensure that your arms and shoulders do not look stiff.

Position 3

The next easy and natural progression from position two is very simple. Bring the front foot onto her tip toe. Its that easy! This is one of the most common posture positions used in pregnancy photography as it creates a beautiful “S” curve shape. The legs look slimmer; the bottom very rounded which then creates a beautiful line from her bump and her arched back. When the foot is up on tip toes it is also a good idea if possible to pull the highest knee into towards the other knee. This creates a "point" and line with the legs and further enhances the shape of the body.

The legs and feet are very important.


Position 4

Position 5

It’s hard to choose and to make it match with your partner or if you have children they need something to wear to.

I am a huge fan of the simplicity of white, a white dress or light jeans (no need to be able to button them up) and a white top or white bra/sport bra. With your partner in a white shirt and lighter jeans. This is a look that always works and perfect for the studio.

If you want to go outdoor I would recommend to borrow one or two dresses from my studio closet. There is a lot to choose from. You see the photo below it’s a few of the dresses I have.

If you prefer to choose from you own closet here is some colour tips.

It’s good to choose from the same tones and keep it to that. Yes of course you are always welcome to bring more than just one outfit. There is also the option to choose to borrow from me some dresses, skirts and fabrics, but for your partner and if you got children you will need to plan and match with what you borrow from me. Please ask me for my closet sheet and I will send it to you.
I always recommend to keep it simple and not to much patterns and no logos please.

Oh and if you are comfortable I am a super fan of nude maternity photography. You may ask Why?! and please Don’t go shy now.

It’s the beauty of the flawless skin colour and the focus on you and your stunning bump that I love and adore and with shadows and light you can always hide the parts that you are more uncomfotable with, which most women love.

5 SIMPLE SUGGESTIONS FOR WHAT TO WEAR TO YOUR MATERNITY SHOOT!

Deciding what to wear on a daily basis for any woman can be a struggle, but deciding what to wear for an extremely important photo shoot while you’re pregnant and full of crazy hormones can be incredibly stressful and confusing. You obviously want your photos to be beautiful, so it’s only natural that you’ll be stressed out by this decision. Maternity photos can be some of the most beautiful and intimate photos that you’ll ever take and having the perfect outfit is key to making your photos look amazing. No pressure, right?
If you’re searching for the perfect outfit to wear for your upcoming maternity photo shoot, here are 7 ideas that will help you and your beautiful belly look stunning.

1. The Maxi Dress

There are a couple of great reasons why a maxi dress is the perfect thing to wear for maternity shoots. For one, it’s incredibly comfortable. Comfort is key when you are pregnant, and when you’re taking maternity photos for an hour or so, you want to be as comfortable as can be. It also looks amazing on any pregnant body because it’s incredibly flattering. It covers up anything you don’t want shown, but can also be pulled against the belly to show off your adorable baby bump. A maxi dress is also a very dramatic piece of clothing to wear for a photo shoot. The flowing fabric looks amazing in the wind and creates a lot of movement in a still photo. You certainly can’t go wrong wearing a maxi dress for your shoot.

2. Solid Colors

Since the main focus in your maternity shoot is your bump, then don’t let anything take attention away form that, like a pattern or print. Wear solid colors for your bump to stand out the most. If you want to incorporate pattern into your shoot, have your husband wear a patterned shirt instead. If you feel solid colors are too boring, then bring in some fun, bright and bold accessories like necklaces and scarves.

2. Tight Clothing

If you are comfortable with wearing tight clothing and don’t mind showing off all of your gorgeous pregnant body curves, opt for a beautiful tight body con dress. They look absolutely stunning on pregnant women because they truly show off the amazing body of the pregnant body. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing and what a woman’s body does when pregnant is incredible. Showing that off is the perfect way to pay tribute to your pregnant self. Be proud of those beautiful curves.

4. Go Timeless

Since you’ll have these maternity photos for forever you don’t want to look back on them in 20 years and regret anything you wore. You never want to think to yourself, “What on earth was I thinking?” In order to avoid that, go with a more timeless, simple look. A great option for this would be some jeans, a simple top and a pair of cute boots. There’s nothing wrong with going a little simpler. You can always add a few cute accessories in your jewelry to spice things up a bit.

5. Textured Clothing

Your photos will look amazing if you wear clothing that has texture to it by adding more dimensions to your photos. You can pair a chunky knit sweater with some jeans; wear a lace dress, or an embroidered top. Either way the texture in the clothes will create more interest, therefore making your photos look more beautiful. It’s a great alternative to a print or pattern.

P.S 
Or why not just borrow the dresses, skirts and fabrics we got in the studio and yes they do fit all sizes.